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A Friday Fancy: Swords and Songs

With fanciful flourish and prose so purple as to shame the violets we summarize this week’s news for you in our “Friday Fancy.” Treat the ears to a lusciously linguistic column we may make returns to should a wily whimsy strike us.

June 5, 2015

Photo-Illustration: Kevin Conway
Photo-Illustration: Kevin Conway

Game of Thrones: Whither come the dead, encrusted like so much freezer-burned meat in the white rime of a winter that is always coming? Creepingly they come, and crawlingly, slipping into snowbanks, kicking up a snowy spray thick as smoke from Melisandre’s best barbecue grill. And behind them their king, glistening ‘neath cold-glazen circlet, who waves as if to say, “Remember me, you who peer through your HD screen, though you shall see neither hide nor horn of me until, like, the end of the sixth season at least.”

Photo: HBO
Photo: HBO

The art business: The most lucrative positions in art and design, or how to make nearly enough capital to afford a comfortable life along the hallowed avenues of New York City — almost, yet not quite. And also,  how to buy one’s way into the art world, or, how we learned to stop our worrying and love the glad-handing and finance-slurping of nepotism.

Samurai Jack: A few days ago in an IDW comic, I, Aku, the shapeshifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! (Admittedly, this is old news — I have gotten pretty good at unleashing unspeakable evil by now, and this evil was nothing special.) But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final panel was drawn, I forced the artist to end the comic in medias res, where ambiguity is law! Now the fool must needs suffer another cliffhanger and continue the limbo that is Samurai Jack!!! (Umm, cue will.i.am, please.)

Stephen Colbert and Jon Batiste: Tried and true, red, white and blue, America’s favorite son turns his furrowed brow of freedom toward Louisiana, from whence he invited a soulful soul, Louisiana’s favorite man who starred as himself on Treme — a man we feel quite likely to stay human after his big TV break.

Young Thug: Emblazoned like arms upon a shield or flag, a cone of ice cream upon the left cheek with thunderbolts for garnish. Here he comes with tribute for Gucci Mane, the Trap God. He is Young Thug, the second coldest emcee in the game. See him Insta: “#Freeguwop I LOVE AND MISS U!!” #FreeGuwop indeed.

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